Realistic Expectations Of Online Dating
Author: Oksana Boichenko
Online dating has really opened up the world of opportunities for people across the globe. The choices are no longer limited to people in your town or even country. Men and women can now look for their partner across the world, increasing the chance to find someone who is truly the only person to share their life with. However, all of the information found on internet has to be taken with the grain of salt - meaning, no matter how many wonderful things you read about potential mates, you have to set realistic expectations of them.
With the entire world open for search, focusing too much on one location can actually be distracting. So many people place their hopes in online dating that they can sometimes miss a person right under their nose, or on the contrary - they get so focused on meeting someone here and now that they do not consider the bigger picture. Whenever you consider internet dating, in particular with Russian women, you first need to decide whether you are ready for the commitment and challenges associated with it. Are you ready to communicate without being able to see each other frequently? Are you ready to fit travel into your life to be able to maintain the relationship? Are you ready for the expenses of paying for online site membership and trips? Are you ready to move? Do you expect your partner to do so? You really should give consideration to all those things to know what your boundaries and limits are and what you can live with or without.
Building a relationship at distance means that your most frequent communication will most likely take place through e-mails. While fast and easy, it has its share of disadvantages. The person replying has plenty of time to think about what to write, how to answer, etc., and it does not mean she will be exactly this way in real life. A person, shy in face-to-face communication, can be a great writer and vice versa. So, it is important to remember that whoever you start liking through computer communication might be different in person. When you finally meet, remember to give both of you enough time to get acquainted on a different level and adjust to the change of meeting in person before making any decisions.
E-mails and chats also leave plenty of room for misunderstandings. When you read something in your communication that leaves you baffled, do not rush. Translation can, actually, account for a high percentage of misunderstandings - unless your lady is fluent in your language, or you understand hers perfectly, it is also likely that some confusion can result from using translation programs, poor interpreters, etc. Remember cultural differences, translation discrepancies, etc. and ask what your partner means before drawing any conclusions.
Once you create a profile online, it is really easy to get carried away with all the options available. Having many people write you and contact you is certain to pamper your ego, but even though you might want to write and get to know all of them, it is best to evaluate the situation realistically. Chances are, you will not be able to handle intense, frank correspondence with more than two-three ladies at once. Having many people to write to is bound to create confusion, sending the wrong letter to the wrong person, etc. It does not mean that you have to ignore all those opportunities, but it is best to focus on creating a bond with the person you like the most and taking it slow with the rest in getting to know each other. This will give you a chance to get to know people more closely and understand if they are what you are looking for in a partner without offending anyone or getting yourself into too much activity.
Being away and seeing each other mainly in pictures can create inflated images of what your partner is really like. It is particularly a concern since many people tend to place their best photos on the website, dating agencies will also encourage women to place professional photos in their profile, etc. While it is not a crime, we suggest that you do exchange regular, real-life photos to know what each other looks like without make-up and photo correction. Because when you and your partner meet and plan your further life together - both of you will have bad hair days, get irritated, make mistakes or say the wrong things once in a while. So, the less both of you expect from your partner, the better - it will save you the risk of disappointment and help you accept your relationship on a deeper level.
It is also important to remember that when you meet in person and take further steps to being together (like moving in together or getting married) - be prepared to give time for an adjustment period. It is something that happens with any major change in a relationship, so do not let it scare you. Such adjustment periods will simply require both of you to be understanding, patient, and demand for reasonable expectations from your partner. Take some time to let each other know the boundaries of personal space, or some things that are a part of your routine, so your partner knows what to expect and you do not create unnecessary stress for each other. Ask every time you are getting the wrong vibes or unsure of what your partner means - it will help you clear the situation at once and get to know each other better in the process.
The most important thing to remember is that in online dating communication is the key, and there are always plenty of opportunities to search for the right person to share your life with.
About the author: Oksana Boichenko
The matchmaker with 12 years of experience in the online dating business. You can find your second half - just visit our dating site and meet your Russian woman among the thousands of beautiful Russian brides.
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