Falling (Or Feeling) Out Of Love?
Author: Lynn Powers
Love. Probably the most misused word in the English language. We "love" our kids, our dog, pizza, even certain television shows. But if we really want to learn about love, God's Word is where we should turn.
The Bible talks a lot about love - what it is (1Corinthians 13), why we are told to love (1 John 4:19), ways we should express love (John 15:13). The Bible tells us how much God loves us (John 3:16) and that love is the greatest commandment of all (1Corinthians 13:13).
Unfortunately, and much to God's displeasure, marriages break up all the time because couples have fallen "out of love." But, according to the Bible, falling out of love is impossible because love is a choice. Feeling out of love, on the other hand, is possible. Even probable. Anyone who is married - even happily - will testify to that.
And that's really what it comes down to, isn't it? Many couples base their claims of falling out of love on the fact that they no longer feel love for their spouse. But God tells us not to live by our feelings. Our feelings can change from day to day - even moment to moment! God's Word tells us in Proverbs 28:26 and in Jeremiah 17:9 that our hearts are deceitful. They can't always be trusted.
If you are unhappy in your marriage, to the point of wanting to walk away, that's probably not something you want to hear. Most likely, you feel justified in your decision to walk away. Maybe you've even convinced yourself that God actually approves of your reasons for leaving. After all, you have some good reasons! But, of course, you already know in your heart that God does not approve. Because His idea of marriage is forever. And, unless there is abuse or an unrepentant affair, you are required to stay. Whether you feel like it or not.
Here's a question for you. Do you believe Jesus loves you? If you're a Christian, your answer is probably, "of course!" The Bible tells us over and over how much He loves us. So much that He went to the cross. But here's another question. Do you think Jesus felt like going to the cross? Do you think He wanted to experience the nails driving into his hands and feet? That he felt like being beat to a pulp, spit on, shoved to the ground…I don't think so. But Jesus made a decision. He decided to bear the excruciating pain. To be tortured. Whipped. Cursed at.
If Jesus had acted on his feelings, we'd all be on our way to hell. But because he pushed through His feelings and decided to love, our lives are forever changed.
Although you won't have to experience the physical pain Jesus did when He decided to love, you may go through some pretty heavy emotional pain. Choosing to love is not easy! Especially when there are hurts, anger and bitterness to work through. Especially when you don't feel like it!
If you're no longer "in love" with your husband or wife, if you're considering ending your marriage, get help before the cement completely sets in your heart. Contact a good Christian marriage counselor or therapist to help you learn what you need to do to get the love back. Do it God's way. When you do, it won't be long before you'll find yourself falling (and feeling) in love again.
Marriage resources to check out:
About the author: Lynn Powers
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